Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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