I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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