You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize