is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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