another moral hangover. fuck.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
