Im at strip club and am horny
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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