my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
