Umm I'm too high to move.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
