He is such a slut. More and more my type.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My vagina just clenched in fear
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
