All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
