how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
soo... how was my night?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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