You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
