Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
