i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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