weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I will die if light touches me.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
