Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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