I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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