My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
