you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
