First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
