another moral hangover. fuck.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
