Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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