I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
