can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
