By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
