my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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