All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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