People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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