dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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