just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
and you fell through a lawn chair
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
