I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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