she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
