Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
