why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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