Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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