I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I puked a lego.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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