the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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