We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize