Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
