her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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