I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
