She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
