honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
