I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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