Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize