dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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