pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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