I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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