just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
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Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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