No, drunk sperm still make babies.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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