I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
