she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize