I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
