i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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