in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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