I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
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I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
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I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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