The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
