i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
