I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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