The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
