My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
