so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
