I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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